Story

Hi, my name is Ryann. I’m a proud mom to 3 (2 girls, and a boy), I have 3 Australian Shepherds that are my fur babies, and I have been a high school teacher for 15 years. I was also recently diagnosed with MDD.

Since the Spring of 2023, I have been dealing with a lot – I separated from my ex-husband and started a very unfriendly divorce that continued throughout the summer even though he moved out, in August of 2023, my dad passed away unexpectedly before I could make it home to say goodbye, causing my ex and I to reconcile, and then break up again in September, and then my divorce was finalized at the end of that September.

I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder in 2022, at the age of 42, and I have no idea why. It was like a switch was flipped in my brain in January of that year. Before that, I had mild depression, but it wasn’t bad, certainly not enough to be hospitalized in Behavioral Health hospitals, and certainly not enough to be hospitalized in April of ’22, October of ’22, September of ’23, and most recently, January and February of ’25.

I was not doing well in January, and I was trying to deny it. It started in December, most likely triggered by me spending Christmas alone for the first time in my entire life. I kept trying to ignore it, until luckily I realized I shouldn’t anymore and I put in for long-term medical leave at my school (I wasn’t there long enough to get FMLA), got a dog-sitter, packed my bag, and checked myself into the hospital. While I was there, I advocated for myself and told the doctors that I didn’t think my medicine was working anymore and that it hadn’t been changed since 2022. I also explained that I had never tried anything but medication and therapy and I chose that specific hospital because they did other treatments like TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation).

I was very lucky because the doctors listened to my concerns about my medicines and treatments and worked with me. They decided on a course of treatment that involved taking me off of 3 medications I was on, putting me on 2 new ones, and giving me an accelerated course of TMS treatment. This did cause me to need a longer stay, but I was very hopeful when I left that this would help me.

When I got home, I was taking some time to set up & attend my appointments with a new therapist and a new psychiatrist, while also giving the TMS and my medication changes some time to take effect, and rest and work on me a bit. Unfortunately, I had a bit of a relapse during the first couple of weeks at home (which happens sometimes), and I had to return to the hospital in the middle of February. If I lived with someone, I might have been able to stay at home, but since I was doing this on my own, it wasn’t safe.  This time they kept me longer to make sure I was adjusting well to the new medication. Below is a picture showing my journey through the last 4 months (if you would like to see my full journey, you can find it on my TikTok page https://www.tiktok.com/@radiantly_resilient_ry ).

I have been home, doing well, and had planned to return to work the first week of April, but my GP filled out my Return to Work Release Paperwork incorrectly, and then was out of town for a week, and then filled it out incorrectly again…*insert frustration here*

I stopped receiving a paycheck the first week of February, and since then I have only been receiving child support every 2 weeks that totals under $400 per month. Because of this, I have been unable to make my $1,930.00 mortgage payment for the months of: February, March, April, and May.  I have also fallen behind on my car payment, and student loan payments.

I am so worried about losing my house. I am trying my hardest to get better and I don’t want this setback to ruin everything. I don’t want to fail. I worked hard to get this house.  I am almost out of this dark spot of my life, I can see the light starting to peek through.

If you can help me get back on my feet, I would be so thankful, and I will pay it forward in the future.

Thank you,

Ryann